US 6293874 B1
Joe Armstrong applied for this Buttocks Kicker patent back in 2000 - surprisingly enough, the USPTO granted Armstrong the patent.
What's its use? Well, the patent states it is an amusement apparatus for "entertainment and comic relief whereby the plurality of rotating arms rotate when the user rotates the hand crank."
I guess the inventors thought this had a great potential application for punishing your children or gaining some pleasure for new S&M techniques....
There have been other self-spanking patent inventions, but others required the resetting of the paddles after each blow to the behind. Thankfully, Joe Armstrong created a smooth and continuous self-spanking apparatus.
Not only was this cranking technique application unanticipated, the prior art supports the novelty claim. Not only were existing self-spanking devices poorly operating, they were also operating via a means of pivot-trigger-reloading.
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